On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
