I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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