is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
