So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
