its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
