Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
