tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
