another moral hangover. fuck.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
