I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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