sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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