in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
