I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
