Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Randomize
