i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
