He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
