People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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