a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
