Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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