Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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