My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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