this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
