I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize