Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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