Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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