he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
