Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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