32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
