i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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