i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize