if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
