My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
