You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
this will be a night to untag.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
