see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
