Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
