Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
