there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
