you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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