when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
