Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
