everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
