I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
