I hate your face
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Randomize
