how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i think i just lost a toe
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
