Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
