OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
