just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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