I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
