yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
