is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
