someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it's like iHOP with fire
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
