she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
