Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
