I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
do herpes really smell.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
