No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
