We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
that may or may not have been my penis.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
